The Widow's Might

"But she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living." For my entire married life I have made wishes on birthday candles, shooting stars, wish chips, dandelions and even cattle guards. Each time, I would wish that my love and I would be together, always and forever. I believe in forever. "Forever" is precisely why I give "all that I have." And I know that because of Christ, it will be enough. We will be together again. And until then we will find joy in our journey...

Monday, August 8, 2016

Every birthday after I married him, I would wish on my birthday candles that we could always be together always. Every year. Every cattle guard. Every shooting star. Every dandelion. Every wish chip. Every lucky bite. Every lucky spoon... Sigh. I still do. I miss you, B.

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Saying Good-bye

I wish I didn't fight it so badly. The truth is I take every opportunity I can to say good-bye now since Brian passed. I didn't get to say good-bye to him. I didn't get to say anything. Not even "Love you." He was up and gone before I was even completely awake. So I say it. I do. Yet still, I fight it. The anxiety builds. It's partly the desire to keep things "upbeat" and "happy." Some people request that. And that is good. But in my heart I really just want to lay down next to them, to hold them. To tell them that I love them. And cry.